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tthdrabblesseries: A Faith That Was Not
author: echo
rating: R (for pottymouth)
challenge: 10 things that never happened to (insert char. here) drabble challenge
disclaimer: Not mine. Faith belongs to Joss Whedon. The Matrix belongs to the Wachowski brothers. LotR belongs to JRR Tolkien. Dracula belongs to Bram Stoker. Underworld belongs to Kevin Grevioux, Len Wiseman, and Danny McBride. The Anitaverse belongs to Laurel K Hamilton. The Potterverse belongs to JK Rowling. Labyrinth belongs to Jim Henson, Dennis Lee, and Terry Jones. X-men belongs to Stan Lee, Marvel Entertainment, and 20th Century Fox. Roswell belongs to Jason Katims.
note: each part on this challenge is exactly 100 words in length.
***
title: Uno... and Not the Card Game
crossing: BtVS/Matrix
summary: Faith never... was the only one chosen.
*~*~*
"You are the one."
"Huh?"
"You are the one."
Faith stared at the guy in his dirty wing-back chair. She was completely fascinated by the fact that his glasses had no sides. How did they stay on his head, you know? Did they clamp on to his nose in some way? Cos, that could be uncomfortable.
Faith jolted herself and tried to pay attention. He was babbling about some matrix or something and talking about red and blue pills.
Pills?
"Ok, whoa, man. I'm not into that stuff. I drink, and I like a good cigarette, but that's it, yo."
*~*
end
*~*
title: Controlled Situation
crossing: BtVS/Kindred: the Embraced
summary: Faith never... had a best girlfriend.
*~*~*
Faith gaped as she entered the house. The hole she'd grown up in could fit in this place about fifty times.
"Who did you say lived here?"
"My Uncle Julian."
"Sasha, this place is the shit."
"I know. Wait 'til you meet Uncle Julian.... just don't... try to get with him."
"Sasha."
"He's hot, Faith. I'd just prefer my best friend not having an ex one-nighter in my family, you know?"
"Check. No making mad monkey lovin' with Uncle J."
Sasha giggled. "You say that now, girl, but when you see him will be the true test of your control."
*~*
end
*~*
title: No Use Crying Over Spilled Mead
crossing: BtVS/LotR
summary: Faith never... had a real job.
*~*~*
Faith growled as she cleared the table. She slapped her rag down, mopping up as much of the spilled mead as possible. Drunken men were the same no matter what dimension you were in. The Prancing Pony was no exception. Speaking of... someone's hand cupped on her ass.
"Remove it or lose it, bub."
It wasn't removed.
"I believe the lady asked for your hand to be removed. Now, you can remove it. She can..." The sound of a sword leaving its scabbard quieted the room. "Or I can."
The hand was removed.
Faith looked over her shoulder. "Thanks, Strider."
*~*
end
*~*
title: Count Famous
crossing: BtVS/Bram Stoker's Dracula
summary: Faith never... fought Dracula.
*~*~*
She circled, stake poised. The room was dark, but she could feel his presence.
"Come out now..."
"I think..." There was a swirl of wind, and the end of the response echoed from another corner of the room opposite of the one it had started in. "Not."
Faith spun that direction, though knowing in her heart he wasn't there any longer. Buffy had mentioned this dude was a tough tricky kill, but Faith was bored, so she hadn't listened.
"You know, Drac, for being all powerful and shit... you sure like hiding."
The air shifted... right behind her.
"Do I?"
*~*
end
*~*
title: Pants on Fire
crossing: BtVS/Underworld
summary: Faith never... had a vampire of her own.
*~*~*
After he kissed her hand, licking between two of her fingers, Faith snatched her hand away and wiped it off on her jeans. He chuckled. He was attractive for a bloodsucking fiend. She'd never met a vampire that affected her this way that Buffy hadn't known first.
He was an exception to that. Buffy didn't know him, had never even heard of him. Too bad he was lying out his pointy teeth about this Michael guy and this Selene chic needing killing.
But perhaps she'd let Kraven 'seduce' her into his bed before she told him that he lying though.
*~*
end
*~*
title: Dated
crossing: BtVS/Anita Blake
summary: Faith never... fought in a formal dress.
*~*~*
Mother fucking, flesh sucking zombies! Damn!
Faith scowled. She'd come to this shindig with werewolf-Richard-guy... who was a bit of a whiner, but kind of a hottie.... and zombies attacked.
Girl couldn't even date.
Plus, she was wearing a formal gown. This sucked balls.
"What now?" Jason, a pack member of Richard's, asked.
"Ruin my dress."
"Huh?"
"Grab hem. Rip in upwards motion. Can't kick anybody otherwise."
Jason did as told... as Richard joined them.
"You know, Dick." Faith said drolly. "They say never do anything so exciting on the first date that'll be hard to top for the second."
*~*
end
*~*
title: Good Dog
crossing: BtVS/HP
summary: Faith never... had a pet.
*~*~*
"That's a good boy. Yes, that's a very good dog."
Faith was sitting on the rug by the fire rubbing the belly of the big black dog that had helped her earlier. He'd damn near taken the leg off of a vampire, pulling the creature off her. It'd given her a chance to get her bearings and dust the rest of the bloodsuckers that had ambushed and surrounded.
Suddenly the dog shifted and there was a dirty guy lying on the rug. Faith shouted in alarm, jumping back.
"You aren't a dog!"
"No. Sorry. Name's Sirius... and you are..."
"Faith."
*~*
end
*~*
title: You Remind Me of the Babe, Babe
crossing: BtVS/Labyrinth
summary: Faith never... had a sibling.
*~*~*
"Give me the child, yo."
"Faith, beware. I've been generous, but I can be cruel."
"Generous, my ass, prissy Lycra pants."
"Faith-"
"Through dangers untold and some hardships and shit, I have fought my way the Goblin City castle to beat your ass for kidnapping my sister. For my will is as strong as yours... which I hope is in order since I'm about to slay you. And my kingdom-"
"Stop, Faith. I can give you your dreams."
"What you can give me, eyebrows, is my baby sister."
"Faith-"
"My kingdom as great...."
"Faith-"
"You have no power over me."
*~*
end
*~*
title: Saying It with Flowers
crossing: BtVS/Xmen
summary: Faith never... caught the bouquet.
*~*~*
"Iceboy, if you don't stop with the snickers, I cut you."
"My money's on her." Logan commented from behind his newspaper, cigar in mouth.
How did he manage talking coherently with that there?
"How was the wedding... or dare I ask?"
Faith glared. She'd gone to this thing with Bobby as a favor. It was his brother's wedding, and he was just happy to be invited.
"Well?"
She held up the mangle of flowers in her hand, shaking it. "I caught the mother fucking bouquet! Actually, it hit my head and fell into my hands.... and don't you dare laugh!"
*~*
end
*~*
title: Missis
crossing: BtVS/Roswell
summary: Faith never... had a last name.
*~*~*
"And by the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."
Faith really didn't care that there were witnesses in the little Chapel-o-Love. She kissed her new husband with fervor and passion. The kissing went on so long that someone cleared their throat. Faith and Mister Faith parted snickering a bit and licking their lips.
"I now present Michael and Faith Guerin." The 'reverend' Elvis said in his white sequined suit... with cape before doing and little karate-kick-and-air-guitar move. "Thank you for coming. Thank you vurry much."
*~*
end
author: echo
rating: R (for pottymouth)
challenge: 10 things that never happened to (insert char. here) drabble challenge
disclaimer: Not mine. Faith belongs to Joss Whedon. The Matrix belongs to the Wachowski brothers. LotR belongs to JRR Tolkien. Dracula belongs to Bram Stoker. Underworld belongs to Kevin Grevioux, Len Wiseman, and Danny McBride. The Anitaverse belongs to Laurel K Hamilton. The Potterverse belongs to JK Rowling. Labyrinth belongs to Jim Henson, Dennis Lee, and Terry Jones. X-men belongs to Stan Lee, Marvel Entertainment, and 20th Century Fox. Roswell belongs to Jason Katims.
note: each part on this challenge is exactly 100 words in length.
***
title: Uno... and Not the Card Game
crossing: BtVS/Matrix
summary: Faith never... was the only one chosen.
*~*~*
"You are the one."
"Huh?"
"You are the one."
Faith stared at the guy in his dirty wing-back chair. She was completely fascinated by the fact that his glasses had no sides. How did they stay on his head, you know? Did they clamp on to his nose in some way? Cos, that could be uncomfortable.
Faith jolted herself and tried to pay attention. He was babbling about some matrix or something and talking about red and blue pills.
Pills?
"Ok, whoa, man. I'm not into that stuff. I drink, and I like a good cigarette, but that's it, yo."
*~*
end
*~*
title: Controlled Situation
crossing: BtVS/Kindred: the Embraced
summary: Faith never... had a best girlfriend.
*~*~*
Faith gaped as she entered the house. The hole she'd grown up in could fit in this place about fifty times.
"Who did you say lived here?"
"My Uncle Julian."
"Sasha, this place is the shit."
"I know. Wait 'til you meet Uncle Julian.... just don't... try to get with him."
"Sasha."
"He's hot, Faith. I'd just prefer my best friend not having an ex one-nighter in my family, you know?"
"Check. No making mad monkey lovin' with Uncle J."
Sasha giggled. "You say that now, girl, but when you see him will be the true test of your control."
*~*
end
*~*
title: No Use Crying Over Spilled Mead
crossing: BtVS/LotR
summary: Faith never... had a real job.
*~*~*
Faith growled as she cleared the table. She slapped her rag down, mopping up as much of the spilled mead as possible. Drunken men were the same no matter what dimension you were in. The Prancing Pony was no exception. Speaking of... someone's hand cupped on her ass.
"Remove it or lose it, bub."
It wasn't removed.
"I believe the lady asked for your hand to be removed. Now, you can remove it. She can..." The sound of a sword leaving its scabbard quieted the room. "Or I can."
The hand was removed.
Faith looked over her shoulder. "Thanks, Strider."
*~*
end
*~*
title: Count Famous
crossing: BtVS/Bram Stoker's Dracula
summary: Faith never... fought Dracula.
*~*~*
She circled, stake poised. The room was dark, but she could feel his presence.
"Come out now..."
"I think..." There was a swirl of wind, and the end of the response echoed from another corner of the room opposite of the one it had started in. "Not."
Faith spun that direction, though knowing in her heart he wasn't there any longer. Buffy had mentioned this dude was a tough tricky kill, but Faith was bored, so she hadn't listened.
"You know, Drac, for being all powerful and shit... you sure like hiding."
The air shifted... right behind her.
"Do I?"
*~*
end
*~*
title: Pants on Fire
crossing: BtVS/Underworld
summary: Faith never... had a vampire of her own.
*~*~*
After he kissed her hand, licking between two of her fingers, Faith snatched her hand away and wiped it off on her jeans. He chuckled. He was attractive for a bloodsucking fiend. She'd never met a vampire that affected her this way that Buffy hadn't known first.
He was an exception to that. Buffy didn't know him, had never even heard of him. Too bad he was lying out his pointy teeth about this Michael guy and this Selene chic needing killing.
But perhaps she'd let Kraven 'seduce' her into his bed before she told him that he lying though.
*~*
end
*~*
title: Dated
crossing: BtVS/Anita Blake
summary: Faith never... fought in a formal dress.
*~*~*
Mother fucking, flesh sucking zombies! Damn!
Faith scowled. She'd come to this shindig with werewolf-Richard-guy... who was a bit of a whiner, but kind of a hottie.... and zombies attacked.
Girl couldn't even date.
Plus, she was wearing a formal gown. This sucked balls.
"What now?" Jason, a pack member of Richard's, asked.
"Ruin my dress."
"Huh?"
"Grab hem. Rip in upwards motion. Can't kick anybody otherwise."
Jason did as told... as Richard joined them.
"You know, Dick." Faith said drolly. "They say never do anything so exciting on the first date that'll be hard to top for the second."
*~*
end
*~*
title: Good Dog
crossing: BtVS/HP
summary: Faith never... had a pet.
*~*~*
"That's a good boy. Yes, that's a very good dog."
Faith was sitting on the rug by the fire rubbing the belly of the big black dog that had helped her earlier. He'd damn near taken the leg off of a vampire, pulling the creature off her. It'd given her a chance to get her bearings and dust the rest of the bloodsuckers that had ambushed and surrounded.
Suddenly the dog shifted and there was a dirty guy lying on the rug. Faith shouted in alarm, jumping back.
"You aren't a dog!"
"No. Sorry. Name's Sirius... and you are..."
"Faith."
*~*
end
*~*
title: You Remind Me of the Babe, Babe
crossing: BtVS/Labyrinth
summary: Faith never... had a sibling.
*~*~*
"Give me the child, yo."
"Faith, beware. I've been generous, but I can be cruel."
"Generous, my ass, prissy Lycra pants."
"Faith-"
"Through dangers untold and some hardships and shit, I have fought my way the Goblin City castle to beat your ass for kidnapping my sister. For my will is as strong as yours... which I hope is in order since I'm about to slay you. And my kingdom-"
"Stop, Faith. I can give you your dreams."
"What you can give me, eyebrows, is my baby sister."
"Faith-"
"My kingdom as great...."
"Faith-"
"You have no power over me."
*~*
end
*~*
title: Saying It with Flowers
crossing: BtVS/Xmen
summary: Faith never... caught the bouquet.
*~*~*
"Iceboy, if you don't stop with the snickers, I cut you."
"My money's on her." Logan commented from behind his newspaper, cigar in mouth.
How did he manage talking coherently with that there?
"How was the wedding... or dare I ask?"
Faith glared. She'd gone to this thing with Bobby as a favor. It was his brother's wedding, and he was just happy to be invited.
"Well?"
She held up the mangle of flowers in her hand, shaking it. "I caught the mother fucking bouquet! Actually, it hit my head and fell into my hands.... and don't you dare laugh!"
*~*
end
*~*
title: Missis
crossing: BtVS/Roswell
summary: Faith never... had a last name.
*~*~*
"And by the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."
Faith really didn't care that there were witnesses in the little Chapel-o-Love. She kissed her new husband with fervor and passion. The kissing went on so long that someone cleared their throat. Faith and Mister Faith parted snickering a bit and licking their lips.
"I now present Michael and Faith Guerin." The 'reverend' Elvis said in his white sequined suit... with cape before doing and little karate-kick-and-air-guitar move. "Thank you for coming. Thank you vurry much."
*~*
end
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 03:33 pm (UTC)Great work.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 11:23 pm (UTC)And not at all. Borrow away.