Challenge #71

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

Title: Perception
Author: Lady Yueh
Fandom: B:tVS/Torchwood
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not my property and no infringement is intended.
Character(s): Anyanka. Torchwood Three.
Challenge: #71 a truth and a lie
Word Count: 200
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“In what language do I have to tell you pestilent little mortals that I’m not an alien?”

Owen snorted. “Might wanna try it without the face, sweetheart.”

The fairly disturbing scarred visage of their target smoothed away to that of an attractive woman.

“Nice trick,” Suzie complimented. “Some kind of cloaking technology? No dice.”

“I’m a demon!”

“Put your weapons away,” Jack ordered as he arrived. “Hello, Anyanka.”

Anyanka squealed. “Jack! You not-so-old rogue! Who did you sacrifice to? Hebe? You simply must give me your ritual.”

Jack shrugged innocently, ignoring the questioning looks his team gave him. “You, Anyanka? You don’t look a day over six hundred! What would you need it for?”

Anyanka smiled, pleased. “Oh, you haven’t changed. Still the eternal charmer, aren’t you?”

“You have no idea,” Jack muttered.

“Jack?” Tosh queried.

“Thanks for not scorching ‘em. It’s so hard to find good help these days.”

Anyanka beamed. “Only because it’s you.”

“Well, must dash. Wishes to grant, people to dismember.”

And she was gone.

“Jack? Who the hell was she? Why aren’t we bringing her in?”

“She’s out of our jurisdiction, Owen.”

“But--”

“Forget it. Just be nicer to your one-night stands.”

Comments

[entwashian.livejournal.com]

There is no fandom into which vengeancy!Anya doesn't fit with perfect ease.

Well done!

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

I don't know about perfect ease. I'd love to see her in the Hundred Acre Woods. But I agree, she's very easy to slip into. Just like Jack. She and Jack are like the little black dresses of crossover fandom.

Thank you!

[entwashian.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, that would be the most perfect thing ever! Surely there's a reason that Kanga's a single mother....

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

*chokes*

That is so wrong. (Plus, I always though Roo was the product of asexual reproduction...sex is unknown of in that fandom.)

Besides, wouldn't she have freaked over Rabbit?

[entwashian.livejournal.com]

::giggle:: Roo's male, so unless he's adopted (which, hmm), asexual reproduction would be impossible.

Yes, she totally would, and, dude, that would make it all the better! Because, hilariously, his Type-A personality is the most similar to Anya's.

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

Well...technically, if there was asexual reproduction going on (because, their sexual are indiscernable [maybe non-existent?]) then maybe only his gender is male. (Yes, I have thought about this too much.) Or, you know, they're immortal archetypes that never age and thus never reproduce.

Maybe that's where her fear came from?

Either that or Bugs.

[entwashian.livejournal.com]

You're making me wish I paid better attention when my high school "Theory of Knowledge" teacher had us read The Tao of Pooh. (Though I doubt the sleeping dragon of gender-based sexuality was ever up for discussion.)

I can imagine that would throw Anya for a loop, too. How is she supposed to avenge wronged women if there aren't technically any women?

Bugs would probably do it! She does sing in OMwF that rabbits eat suspiciously too many carrots.

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

*blinks*

There's a Tao of Pooh? And a Te of Piglet according to Wiki. Interesting. Personally, I think gender and sexuality is a sleeping dragon that should be woken at every opportunity, that thing takes too many naps, if only for the sheer entertainment/awkward factor.

*laughs* Maybe Christopher Robin's Mom counts.

Now I'm imagining a comedy sketch with Bugs getting the drop on Anya every single friggin' time. Poor Anya. Bugs is obnoxious.

[entwashian.livejournal.com]

I think so too, but the public school system doesn't exactly agree. And, ugh, now I'm thinking about politics at 2am.

I'm sure she's the bloody-minded, vengeancey sort, too. The bowl haircut that book!Christopher Robin had was pretty cruel.

See? She does fit in everywhere! (Which probably doesn't speak too well to that whole man's-inhumanity-to-man thing.) Maybe when she's done with Bugs, she can help Wile E. Coyote smite down the Roadrunner.

[order_of_chaos]

*laughs* Oh that is fantastic! I find myself completely unsurprised at Anyanka knowing Jack, and the last line was just perfect!

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

Surprisingly, Jack doesn't have as many scorned women as you'd think. Scorned aliens, men, etc. on the other hand...

I really wanted to put in a line where Anyanka warns Owen but then I thought that she wouldn't try and lose many clients.

[order_of_chaos]

Mmm. He's so openly a flirt and so, well, charming, that most of his lovers probably don't feel scorned in the least, whatever gender/species they happen to be. Just sated :-P

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

*agrees* That's why I didn't leave the bit in where Anya says he always gives her so many customers. Wouldn't have fit. Everyone just comes back for more. I mean, if he got his executioners in bed...

But it helps me sleep to think he must have someone out there that'd rather kill him than shag him again.

[order_of_chaos]

Oh yes. It would only take one - and Anya coming back the next day and offering to remove the curse in return for orgasms, and Jack grinning, and agreeing - for them to end up very good friends.

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

Exactly.

[jedibuttercup]

Anyanka! Haven't seen a drabble with her in awhile. Great use of her.

That's 3/6, now!

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

Thanks! You'd think, given her age and profession...

Hee! 1/2 finished.

[brendanm720.livejournal.com]

[snerk]

Nice.

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[rivulet027.livejournal.com]

lol, loved the interplay between Jack and Anya.

[ladyyueh.livejournal.com]

The two make for an interesting and unique conversation filled with sex, orgasms and violence!